Building up your confidence is certainly a process that takes time. For some, it comes easy, for others, it’s a struggle that can take years. What’s worse is that there are also those that never really get to believe in themselves, and that’s really crushing to me personally, as someone who struggled (and still occasionally struggles) with low confidence.
You might see me in the street or even in a work setting and think I’m all about confidence. I wear my head high and make sure that I look presentable for work or social outings in general. This is something that really helps me personally – I like to feel like I’ve got my life together and look the part too - even though on some days I really don’t feel like this is the case.
Just like with depression, anxiety or other so-called ‘invisible’ illnesses, lack of confidence is not something that can be noticed in some people. This is both good and bad - good because I would be really embarrassed in a situation where it was obvious to people that I wasn’t feeling great about myself, but bad because it means some people suffer in silence and don’t seek the help they need.
I’m writing this blog post to help those in similar situations. Life/work experience taught me that things will not move in the direction you want them to go if you’re overly shy or lack confidence in your skills and abilities.
So here are 5 tips that helped me and might also help you in your confidence journey!
People really don’t care as much as they think they do
I mentioned this one in an earlier post about How to get out of your comfort zone & why it’s so worth it, but I think it’s worth going over again, especially for those of us that are shy & worry about what others think about us. So here’s the thing: people don’t care about what you do as much as you think they do.
Ask yourself these questions - have you done something embarrassing that you think about before going to sleep every other night? Are you still going over that situation at work that, in your eyes, made you look incompetent or not good enough?
Well, there is a high chance that the people you were with when these situations took place, either a) forgot about this happening or b) didn’t consider the situation as important/embarrassing as it was in your eyes. It’s time to move on and keep going!
What you bring to the table is unique – there’s only 1 you
No matter how good someone’s ideas are or how well they’re doing in life, they’re in no way better than you. We’re all different and bring unique views and ideas to the table – this is what keeps life so interesting! Your view on things is as important and credible as that of anyone else.
Put frankly, be brave & don’t be afraid to speak up and share your ideas with the world. Even if it’s not your idea being chosen in the end or it’s discredited by someone else you hang out/work with, it’s on them, not you. Just keep going and don’t stop believing in what you do.
More confidence often means more respect
I’m not saying that this is fair and how things should be, but more often than not, it’s the truth. Once you show others that you are confident in what you can do, they tend to treat you differently.
This applies to both work and life situations. At work, your boss wants to see that you are able to present yourself and handle yourself in a confident and professional manner. In your social circle, your friends will value your confidence and hopefully learn it from you too.
There’s a difference between being confident and being cocky so it’s important not to mistake the two. But once you reach that comfortable level of confidence, you will certainly notice a difference in how people treat you both in the street and at work!
Fake it until you make it
This one is difficult, but it all comes down to being able to train your mind into believing that you’re worth it and you’re enough. Put that mindset into practice and help yourself with positive affirmations or motivating music if needed.
This is a process and won’t happen overnight but apparently, it only takes 14 days to teach your brain a new habit so why not try it for 2 weeks and see how it works out for you? It’s definitely worth a shot!
Love yourself and the right people will love you back
Once you love yourself, you’re less likely to put yourself in unsafe or unfavorable situations. Once you know your value, it’s easier to see when someone’s not giving you enough respect or treating you fairly.
As a confident man or woman, you’ll learn to distance yourself from the situation and move on more easily. After all, you’re a great person so your next employer/partner/best friend will be lucky to have you and there is no big loss/need to worry here.
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