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How to build a strong and healthy relationship

Hello & welcome to my blog in 2020! 

I'm pretty sure I've said this on my blog a good few entries back but how my mind works when it comes to writing is that I can only create content when I feel passionate or sure of something or when it's something that I've recently experienced. This is why I'm coming to you today with a blog post on the key things I've learned through the course of my (almost) 5 year-long relationship. 

I've spent a huge amount of time with my SO over Christmas, which only made me realize how important some of these are for a healthy and strong relationship. Before I get into it, I'd like to put a quick disclaimer out there: I know every relationship is different and I'm not here to give professional advice BUT these have worked for me & I can't see why they wouldn't be important in any type of personal relation! 
A common misconception about relationships is that they should be smooth and easy. Realistically, that's almost never the case, and if it is, it's probably going to get quite boring pretty quickly! Relationships are hard work and the extent of the work you need to put in depends on factors such as your actual personalities, the stage you're at in life or if you have kids, etc. 

What I think should make the top of the list though is communication and solving problems as soon as they arise. Talk talk talk. Don't keep it in unless you need a minute to calm down. This applies to anything and everything. Help your partner get to know you better and ask questions so they also feel acknowledged and appreciated. Tell them how you feel and don't apologize for the way you feel. 

 In times of conflict, hear them out to get their side of the story and then be the one to give your perspective. The more you talk, the better understanding you'll have of your partner's wants, needs and preferences, and conflicts related to these will become rare the better you know them.

Next on my list is compromise. Unless you're two identical people, you will have to make a compromise at some stage. Things are usually great at the start and people find it easy to let go of things to suit their partners. Over time, boundaries have to be set in order to keep both people happy. 

Whether you want to go 50/50 or 80/20 should depend on your priorities and how important having things your way is in that particular situation. Effective communication with your partner mentioned above will help you assess that, because once you know them well and they know you well, you'll understand what's important for each other and it'll be easier to make compromises or decide whose needs should be prioritized each time.

Next, there's trust. You can't build a relationship without trust. This, of course, comes with time but once it's there, it honestly feels amazing to know that you can trust your partner to be loyal or be there for you in times of difficulty. 

Last but not least, there must be mutual respect and effort coming from both sides to make any relationship work. 
* * * 
So these are my tips for a healthy and strong relationship! Is there anything you'd add to the list? 

Paula x
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